I grew up in a strict household in the early1950’s.

I trained as a nurse and in my early 20’s traveled overseas.

Freedom at last. Freedom to experience life in all its fullness; and experience it I did.

I found someone who loved me, and soon became pregnant. My lover left me as soon as he knew.

Now what was I going to do?  I couldn’t face my parents. Growing up, they had instilled in me the absolute disgrace of being unmarried and having an illegitimate child. Therefore, in my mind, returning home pregnant was not an option.

A friend knew a woman who could help. So, I submitted myself to a seemingly painless procedure and had a “miscarriage” a few days later. I felt pretty relieved about the whole thing at the time.

I soon returned home as though nothing had happened, thinking I had buried the memory of what I had done.  However, I began binge eating and drinking, became bulimic, found myself smoking incessantly, and suffered chronic depression for many years, with no apparent cause..

Meanwhile, I married and had 2 beautiful children. It was an abusive marriage and. I thought it was all my fault.

Some years later, Jesus became my Lord and my life began to turn around for the better.

One day, completely out of the blue, the Holy Spirit said “I want to heal the wounds of the abortion you had”. I was shocked, as I had forgotten all about it, but He knew there was hidden pain there.

So began the healing process, through prayer, deliverance and loving counseling over a period of months. Symbolic acts of naming the baby and recognizing him safe in Jesus care brought release and great inner healing.

A realization that a secret I had kept hidden for over 20 years and that was eating me up inside, was finally laid to rest in the arms of Jesus. I was free. Free from bulimia, depression; no longer binge eating, drinking or smoking. Free from the guilt and pain of ridding myself of a precious little defenseless baby.

Those whom the Son sets free are free indeed.(scripture ref)

Now that’s REAL freedom.

If there is anyone you know who is considering an abortion, please have them consider the possibility of an  aftermath. It may take years to heal.   Anyone who has had an abortion, there are specially trained loving counselors throughout new Zealand, able to minister the healing power, restoration and freedom of a loving God.

R.G.