In this third letter where I am sharing with you some teaching by Don Barry, I will outline some of his reasons why the state of virginity is to be valued and treasured.

“The dictionary defines ‘virgin’ as ‘a maiden, one (especially a woman) who has had no sexual intercourse, pure, chaste, undefiled, untainted, in original condition, unexploited’.

We talk of ‘virginal territory’.  It is land that is unscathed by men, free from environmental pollution, the beauty of the creation is unmarred.

Some reasons why virginity is to be valued and treasured:

1. It honours God’s order; an order outlined in both His Word and in His creative design.
2. It values purity as a precious treasure to be preserved and protected.
3. The value of virginity is that it retains for a single beloved what is appropriately theirs.
4. Valuing virginity refuses the notion that love and relationships demand sexual involvement for fulfilment.
5. Lost chastity allows the invasion of the soul.

Point No 1:

You cannot read the Word of God, even casually, and come away with any other notion than that God intends that sex belongs within the context of marriage. The Bible calls sexual relationships among unmarried people fornication.  It calls sexual relationships that violate our marriage vows adultery.  It condemns both of them.  Both constitute a breaking away from God’s order of things.

A commitment to virginity acknowledges the wisdom of God’s design and order.  They are both expressions of His desire that we live the fullness of life.

Point No 2:

Chastity is not about avoiding something dirty, it is about protecting something that is precious.

In almost every other culture, in every other era, virginity was something highly prized.

Paul gives some indication of his culture’s attitude towards virginity in 2 Corinthians 11:2-3.

‘I am jealous over you with a godly jealousy.

For I have espoused you to one Man, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.

But I fear lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve in his craftiness,

so your thoughts should be corrupted from the simplicity due to Christ.’

Our culture not only doesn’t value virginity, it scorns it. To value virginity is to reject the world’s mockery that treats innocence as though it were ignorance.  They are not the same things.

The world mindset claims that if you haven’t had sex then you are ignorant.  It is information that removes ignorance not necessarily experience.

There are multiplied thousands who had had the experience who are still ignorant.

You don’t have to enter marriage ignorant.  There is an appropriate time for experience – it’s after marriage.  That context provides the right place for experience.

Don’t be bullied by other people’s agenda.  Having lost their own innocence they want yours compromised as well.

Point No 3:

It was expected that entry into marriage would be an encounter, a confrontation with virginity.

It indicates that you have saved something for your beloved that you have retained for them and them alone.  There’s not a diamond in the world that can equal that gift.

Tragically so many come to the marriage bed and they have nothing to give their beloved that they haven’t shared with any number of people before them.

Isn’t it ironic that people, who would never be seen dead in a second-hand clothing store, buying ‘pre-loved’ goods, don’t think as clearly about selling their own bodies to any number of partners and how that might impact on the one they finally meet who is to be the special one.

Don’t fall for the old argument that since they are that special one then we can get physical before marriage.

Until you say, ‘I do’, then don’t!

Your virginity is the most precious gift you can give your spouse.

Point No 4:

Our culture had made love=sex, and sex=love.  They are not the same thing.

You are all aware that there can be sex and not love.  You need to also understand that there can be love without sex as well.

Once you are married the two can and should go together.  Even in marriage these two don’t necessarily equal the same thing.  There are seasons in a marriage whether due to illness, pregnancy or other issues that sexual relationships aren’t appropriate, yet love remains and can be strong.

Sex is not required to prove one’s love and neither is it allowed until there have been marriage vows.

Point No 5:

To enter into sexual relationship outside of the appropriate context of marriage is to invite spiritual bondage.  Sex is not just physical.  It is emotional and spiritual as well.

Illicit sensual acts and immorality fragment and divide our own personalities.  We find ourselves bound to others to whom we have given ourselves sexually.  This needs to be broken off.

God’s way and word is wisdom.  It is intended to introduce us to a way of life that is whole and healthy.  God is a redeemer.  He is restorative by nature.  But some people play fast and loose with this idea.  ‘If you can’t get permission then get forgiveness.’  God isn’t stupid.  You can’t outsmart Him.

When there’s genuine repentance then He will come and heal, restore and release.  You can enter into a new relationship with a virginal purity that has been graciously restored.”

‘Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God?

Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor abusers,

nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners,

shall inherit the kingdom of God.  And such were some of you.

But you are washed, but you are sanctified,

but you are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.’

(1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

I pray that with God’s strength you will resist every temptation to compromise your virginity and that you will value and treasure this gift from God.  I pray that you will know God as your redeemer, the One who responds to genuine repentance, who forgives, heals and restores.

Blessings,

Sue